Video: When Props Attack

[timesbureaucrat]

[The communicator comes on with the sound of a hard crack, like the buttons are being smacked instead of pushed. The communicator bounces with the force of the blow.

On the screen, Narvin is looking wild-eyed and hair askew. He swears in Gallifreyan and runs a frustrated hand over his head.

Well, now that the communicator is on, he might as well explain.]

One of those vile pests has got into my room. If there's an exterminator around, I would pay good emeralds to see the blasted thing put out of my misery. I last saw it disguising itself as a communicator, but where or what it is now...

[He scans the room, sees something moving out of the corner of his eye.]

No don't--! [And runs off chasing after the Prop, communicator still on, but left on the table.]

Comments

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin is breathing heavily from the double sprint up and then back down the hallway. He waves aside the apology.]

Not your fault the blasted thing chose the most humiliating of all possible options to mimic.

...

Well, perhaps not the most humiliating, but certainly high on the list.

[frontier_doktor]

At least they know you're respectably modest? [Visscher gives him a bright one-sided smile.] They could have been a thong.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin's eye twitches at the idea of ever wearing a thong.]

Thank Rassilon for small favours, I suppose.

[And at least it's not mimicking something potentially incriminating, like his mind wipe.]

[frontier_doktor]

[Visscher melts down the wall to sit on the floor.]

If it goes into another room it will have to change into something less conspicuous. Your unmentionables should go without mention, except for their brief appearance on the network.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin runs both hands down his face.]

I hope so. I'd hate to think what sorts of misunderstandings might arise should a stranger's underclothes turn up in another person's room.

...

Do you think my underwear is too large? [He asks, thinking of Niko's befuddlement.]

[frontier_doktor]

It's large compared to a human's, yes. Most humans. [Western culture, in comparison, only that fad comparatively briefly in the grand scheme of things.]

But you're not one, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Or maybe it did if you were concerned about other people seeing it.

[timesbureaucrat]

[He sniffs in self-deprecating amusement.]

Before today I would have thought the chances of other people seeing it highly unlikely. But it seems causality had other ideas.

[frontier_doktor]

At least you didn't wear them.




You didn't, did you?

[If that was the case he was going to be considerably more sympathetic.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[He clears his throat.]



...



.......



No comment.

[Quick, a new topic!]

Have you encountered shape shifters before?

[frontier_doktor]

[He stares off to the side for a moment, and discretely says-] oh [-before he continues.]

I've encountered a few varieties, yes. The ones who developed my gloves are shifters and there are some viral diseases where I'm from that make people shift into people that other people knew. Their imprint as they were in the person's memory, not a true replica.

Physically easy to cure but it can ruin interpersonal relationships.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin is fascinated and a little bit perturbed by this virus.]

Does it alter the infected person's memory as well as their appearance? So they believe that they are this other person, when in fact there's merely an...echo?

[Shifting faces is perfectly fine, but altering memories is a frightening thing for a Time Lord since memories are all they have to maintain a consistent identity throughout their many lives. And Narvin, for all his privately-acknowledged faults, would like to keep his own identity.

He's glad to hear that's it's curable at least.]

[frontier_doktor]

Yes, briefly they think they are someone else. Briefly. The spells are short, only about an hour or so before they're done and then they have to wait patiently should another come on.

[He sighs heavily.]

I'm sorry, it's a dark subject, medicine. At least these are just pests.

[timesbureaucrat]

Has anyone ever tried to control the virus, to...use it? [Because Narvin's first thought is that it would be handy for infiltration if you could either control or accurately predict how long the effects would last and when they would come on again. And guide who a person would turn into. The perfect cover, better than a Chameleon Arch.]

[frontier_doktor]

Why would anyone want to? [He asks with legitimate innocence.] I can understand the desire to be unlike yourself. [He gestures to the paralyzed side of his face.] But you could hurt yourself or someone else. Sometimes the way people think of other people isn't always pleasant.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Visscher response makes Narvin feel a little guilty for thinking of it himself.]

Yes...well...that's the thing, isn't it. People are sometimes terrible and manipulative and when something like that virus exists it follows that someone, somewhere, has tried to find a way to turn it to their advantage, even if they didn't succeed.

[frontier_doktor]

Yes... well.... They're sometimes terrible. But sometimes someone can see someone everyone else hates with a lot of love. That person would notice the difference.

I like to imagine people aren't as other people see them, anyway. There's always something they don't expect, or we would get bored with each other very quickly. [He flinches one of his half-smiles at that.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Now Narvin feels even more guilty. He's usually accepting of the fact that he's a bit of a terrible person, but when he comes face to face with someone who very much isn't, it makes his conscience twinge uncomfortably.]

That's a very forgiving sentiment. Although I'm sure there are some people in the universe whom no one loves.

[Narvin is fairly sure he's one of them. There are a few people he might tentatively call "friends" but they don't love him. The idea of Leela loving him, or heaven help him, Romana, is too strange to contemplate.]

[frontier_doktor]

That is impossible. Perhaps there are people that cannot love, but being unlovable is unlikely if one is sentient. If the man that ruined the country of my parents could be loved by his fiance, then obviously anyone stands a chance.

...

At least in friendship.

[Because, despite his idealistic thought that if Hitler could be loved anyone could, he still doubts very much it was possible for him.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin looks a bit dubious, but he'll grant that it's a nice thought and he's willing to entertain it.]

I suppose the universe is a big place. Full of all kinds of unusual people. I suppose some of those people are contrary enough to love even the difficult to love individuals. If they ever have the good fortune to cross paths at the right time.

[frontier_doktor]

I used to be around difficult to love men. Quite frequently. The ones that did love them usually did so quite loudly and stubbornly, even if they were fewer than most.

[He rises from his place, dusting himself off.] However I am not much in the mood to spare the man in the hallway much affection. Is it alright if I wait a few minutes to step out. My heart is still ba-dumm dumm dumm [He uses the German onomatopoeia of a heart beating.]

[timesbureaucrat]

I'm sorry, your hearts...heart is...fibrillating? Will you be all right? [That doesn't sound anything like he thinks of hearts sounding like. But then, he thinks of hearts coming in pairs and resounding in a slow duet.]

[frontier_doktor]

[He snorts a laugh at him again, forgetting his face for a moment.]

It's just the sound of a human heart pounding, I'm sorry. I'm still a little startled.

[timesbureaucrat]

Ah. I've never heard a human heart. Does it really sound like that?

[He remembers that he never did answer Visscher's request.]

And yes, you can wait here. Even I am not so cruel as to inflict an angry Andorian upon a person.

[frontier_doktor]

I don't have my stethoscope on me or I would let you hear it. [His is a handy little thing, too, with a single metal digital device to press to a chest and earbuds to transmit the sound.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Perhaps another time. [If he was going to be surrounded by humans, he decides that he ought to know more about their anatomy.]

For that matter, a crash course in emergency first aid for humans wouldn't go amiss, if you're willing. There being such a swarm of them here. I only know how to treat Gallifreyans.