Video: When Props Attack

[timesbureaucrat]

[The communicator comes on with the sound of a hard crack, like the buttons are being smacked instead of pushed. The communicator bounces with the force of the blow.

On the screen, Narvin is looking wild-eyed and hair askew. He swears in Gallifreyan and runs a frustrated hand over his head.

Well, now that the communicator is on, he might as well explain.]

One of those vile pests has got into my room. If there's an exterminator around, I would pay good emeralds to see the blasted thing put out of my misery. I last saw it disguising itself as a communicator, but where or what it is now...

[He scans the room, sees something moving out of the corner of his eye.]

No don't--! [And runs off chasing after the Prop, communicator still on, but left on the table.]

Comments

[vengeance_driven]

Vile pests? The stuff that looks like other stuff?

That's real?

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin shouts from off screen.]

It most certainly is real. Lamentably real.

[Then he leaps back into the video frame, chasing--and catching--a pair of very Victorian looking long underwear. He's throttling one leg while the other is smacking him in the face, trying to get away.]

[vengeance_driven]

[Oh jesus he sees what Narvin has loose in his room now.]

Is it your fucking underwear that it is being? [ Which the mild shock of the idea of one's boxers spontaneously moving ebbs as another thought strikes him.]

...That's big underwear.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin gives him a chilly glare, spots of red appearing on his cheeks.]

My underwear is just the size it's supposed to be.

[Rassilon's ghost, this is the worst argument to have in public.]

[vengeance_driven]

I didn't think that it was that cold out. [They look like thermals to him!]

Do you know if they're easy to kill yet? If ah... not easy to catch?

[frontier_doktor]

I could come and put a box over it and... take it somewhere?

[Because he doesn't want to see anything hurt. That includes Narvin hurting himself.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Something out of sight of the video crashes loudly and Narvin swears again. He pauses in his chase to poke his head back at the communicator. His curly hair looks like it's about to acquire sentience of its own.]

Oh, do feel free to try. I warn you that the [He spits out a few Gallifrey words.] is difficult to catch and hold onto.

[frontier_doktor]

Do you live in the hotel? Where should I go?

[He is actually going to try to go and catch a pair of underwear with a box. If it is a pair of underwear by the time he gets there.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[A physician's tasks are never boring.]

Yes, I live in the resort. Top floor allowed to guests, just below the ambassadors' suites.

Come quickly. Gassing my room with a makeshift chlorine bomb is starting to look increasingly appealing.

[frontier_doktor]

[Even if he rather wishes they were.] Alright, I'll be there. [And he heads out, swearing up ad down at himself at the possibilities that he might have gotten himself into.]

[tawarwaith]

[Tauriel appears mildly frazzled, and her long hair is in disarray, thanks to having come out of reverie with two such creatures trying to tug out swathes of her hair.]

How is it exactly they are to be exterminated?

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin glances over her image, gives a very brief, wry eyebrow twitch of "you too, huh" and huffs out a frustrated sigh.]

I'm not sure yet. I tried shooting it with my staser, but they're very fast. [And Narvin has a few scorch marks on his walls now.] So I gave up on that method and am trying something less destructive to my room.

[The "less destructive" part is debatable, however. In Narvin's growing obsession to catch the thing, and its drive to not be caught, his usually tidy room is a mess of knocked over furniture, torn down curtains, and belongings scattered across the floor.]

[tawarwaith]

[There is only the tiniest nod of her head as she glances around her room, trying to hunt out the object that is misplaced and therefore the Prop.]

Looks like neither option is working too well. I dare not use my weapons in my room for fear of doing worse harm than good.

[Because having to explain arrows sticking out of walls and things slashed with daggers is totally something she wishes to do right now.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[He huffs a frustrated breath and runs his hands through his thinning hair.]

At this point, I'm almost ready to give up my room as hopelessly overtaken by the enemy and just blow it up as I retreat, and to hell with the damage.

[He's joking. Probably.]

[tawarwaith]

[Don't mind her horrified expression.]

Is that not uncalled for? They are indeed annoying pests, but why harm the resort? I am certain we might come up with a more natural and less destructive solution.

[ewestmarch]

You're trying to catch it with your hands?

[timesbureaucrat]

Well I'm not going to try to catch it with my feet.

[ewestmarch]

Don't you know any area of effect spells?

[timesbureaucrat]

I'm a technician, not a magician. I don't know any spells, area of effect or otherwise.

And I don't want to know any spells. [He adds. His Gallifreyan suspicion of magic runs deep.]

[ewestmarch]

By all means then, keep doing whatever this is. I think it's starting to work.

[thumbsdown]

[Boone hasn't had to deal with the props yet. That's probably just as well, because Rex would trash the place chasing them. As for killing them... Boone isn't sure how. At least he doesn't have any hair for them to pull out.]

Anyone actually know how to kill those things yet?

[It looks like they're hard to catch, but even if Narvin caught it there would be no point unless he could get rid of it somehow. Otherwise, it would no doubt just escape again.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Until there's evidence otherwise, I would assume that they can be killed in much the same way any other living thing can be killed.

[He glances at Boone's image on the communicator only briefly, his attention transfixed on the Prop. It's keeping very still now, and Narvin is staring at it with predatory focus. He wonders if he can stalk up upon it slowly and pounce.]

I just haven't been able to put that to the test yet.

[thumbsdown]

Could try to help you catch it, if you want. Or I could try shooting it. Never seen one of those things though, not sure exactly how fast they move.

[Very fast, by the sounds of it. Boone can be quick, though. He just hopes he's quick enough to catch a prop. If those things get into his home, he'll need to be fast if he wants to get rid of them again. Rex is faster, but he doesn't really want this to turn into him chasing Rex chasing something important down the street.]

[timesbureaucrat]

It's worth a shot. [Pun not intended and Narvin doesn't even realize that he made one.] I'm a fair hand with a staser, but I'm not a sharp shooter.

[thumbsdown]

Should I bring Rex? If I can't catch it, he might be able to. Can't guarantee he won't break something, though.

[The pun goes right over Boone's head, too.]