A Modest Advertisement. (content warning: fire)

[ewestmarch]

[The lens of the communicator is covered, but a scratchy female voice can be heard.]

Just hold it and point it over here. This button starts it. Wait, did you already- ?

[The post stops.

When it starts again, it is pointed at a skinny, rotting woman in a long wool gown - Emilia. She is holding a bundle of blue fabric.]

Blackway Clothing, [she begins, smiling primly,] is adequate for your needs if you enjoy poorly-sized, off-the-rack, tacky dish rags to wear on your body. The clothes make the man. Of course, far be it from me to dictate how terrible you want to look. I'm sure it's just fine.

[She unfurls the bundle. It is a t-shirt with an incomprehensible airbrushed slogan, still with the original tags on it.]

But in the event, of, say, an attack by Creepers, the rest of us will all be watching as your pitiful fashion choices do this.

[She holds the shirt at arm's length and crooks a clawlike finger on her opposite hand. A spark of blue flame alights on the tip, and she touches it to the shirt which immediately goes up in flames. As she speaks, it burns almost all the way up to her hand.]

"Stitches" provides custom, quality clothing for any occasion, tailored to fit and priced very reasonably. It is also fireproof.

I think we're finished here.

Comments

[most_feared]

Well, at least it looks effective and I gotta hand it to you for competitive advertising.

Is that something you do to the fabric prior to sewing or is it something that can be applied to already sewn items. And can you go by really specific patterns.

[ewestmarch]

Either, and yes. Five limbs, no limbs, fish from the waist up, we do anything.

[most_feared]

I think I could stand to give one of my suits a try. Never hurts to be prepared.

[ewestmarch]

By all means. We're on Xchilla street.

[vengeance_driven]

Hey ah... anything else it can do? Not that fireproof isn't good. I'm just curious.

[ewestmarch]

What else do you need, friend?

[vengeance_driven]

I do have problems with catching fire and explosions often enough, but with this job I now have problem with spider venom if I am in the caves.

[Little articles of speech. Niko don't need them half the time.]

[ewestmarch]

Nature resistance is what you want. I think I can do that.

[vengeance_driven]

What else does nature resistance do?

[ewestmarch]

Protects you from all sources of nature damage. That means druidic and shamanic spells, poisons, and radiation.

[vengeance_driven]

Hey, radiation! With the friends I have, that could come in handy.

[ewestmarch]

[Emilia snorts.]

Gnomes?

[vengeance_driven]

I don't think so, but I've never asked him so I could be wrong.

He is from a world like mine but it got fucked up because everyone dropped idiot stupid bombs on each other and made the world sick with radiation. Like this fixes everything.

[ewestmarch]

Maybe he could benefit some too. Send him over, hm?

[vengeance_driven]

Ah, yeah. I'll mention that to him!

[somepartsbroken]

Fireproof, you say?

[ Yes, he is so interested in that.]

[ewestmarch]

No.

...Of course I said that. Interested?

[somepartsbroken]

[ He chuckled all the same.] Very much so.

When is your shop open?

[ewestmarch]

Seven in the morning to six in the afternoon, every day.

[somepartsbroken]

Then I will com calling after seven sometime soon.

i'm thinking about putting up a log for her shop what do you think

[ewestmarch]

Good.

Sounds great to me! And I'll be putting up a club log later so we could get a bit of CR going around

[somepartsbroken]

I will see you then.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin doesn't always get along with Emilia, but explosion protection clothes would very much come in handy.]

How powerful an explosion is it effective against?

[ewestmarch]

It can't protect you from the concussive force at all. You'll still get blown into a wall if you're stupid enough to mix your chemicals wrong, but you won't catch on fire afterwards.

[timesbureaucrat]

I don't mix my chemicals wrong.

But burns are exceedingly unpleasant and I'd really rather avoid them if possible. [He says with the voice of experience.]

How does this work, do I just place an order or do I need to come in for measurements?

[ewestmarch]

I can enchant clothing you already have, for a fee, but if you want a new outfit made with protection already sewn in you'll have to come in for measurements.

It won't take long. I don't like touching people.

[timesbureaucrat]

Enchant. [Narvin says flatly.] Your little advertisement said nothing about enchantments.

[ewestmarch]

What the fuck did you think I was doing? Making shirts out of brick?

[timesbureaucrat]

Chemical dip? Flame-retardant synthetic material? Nanobonding? How was I supposed to guess!

[ewestmarch]

Enchanting works. If you don't want your clothes fireproofed, then go away.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin weighs the pros and cons. Pros: resistant to fire. Cons: it's magic.]

This "enchantment." It does not touch or affect me at all, does it? Just the clothing, correct?

[ewestmarch]

It affects you in that you won't be on fire.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin just can't shake the feeling that magic might suddenly eat his flesh or possess his mind or otherwise do something terrible. Too much Time Lord prejudice and too many horror stories about the Dark Times, when Gallifrey had been steeped in mysticism.]

I think I'll take my chances with normal cloth.

[ewestmarch]

Too scary?

[Emilia pouts artfully at him.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Yes, in fact. [Narvin's pride doesn't extend to trying to pretend that he's brave.]

I'd rather not entrust my life to a mysterious process that I can't duplicate, carried out by person I don't entirely trust. [The same reason he's wary of Braska's powers.]

[ewestmarch]

I know fire magic too.

[timesbureaucrat]

That doesn't reassure me.

[ewestmarch]

It was meant to do the opposite.

I trust I'll see you around the resort, Narvin.~

[timesbureaucrat]

I'm beginning to rather hope you don't. [Narvin's paranoid mind imagines himself going up in flames like the shirt in her advertisement.]

[thumbsdown]

[Some time after Niko has spoken with Emilia, Boone responds to the advert.]

You've got stuff that protects against radiation?

[Not that they don't have stuff like that at home, but Boone doesn't feel like walking through the desert in a bright yellow radiation suit or power armour and he doesn't always have Rad-X on him.]

[ewestmarch]

You're the one? Yeah.

[thumbsdown]

Sounds useful. Huh... so does being fireproof, though.

[He thinks for a moment. He encounters creepers almost every day, but there's no radiation here. He's not planning on leaving yet, so maybe it would be smarter to get something fireproof first.]

What else can you protect against? Besides radiation and fire, that is.

[ewestmarch]

I can do both. It'll just cost you more.

Like I said to him, the radiation coverage will also do poisons, natural toxins, venoms, druid or shaman magic. I can also do extremes in temperature, arcane or dark magic, demonfire, freezing projectiles...

[thumbsdown]

[He thinks of cazadores when Emilia mentions venoms. Yeah, it seems like this stuff would be useful. Maybe even for everyone back home, but... he can't afford something for everyone right now. Maybe before he goes, if he can save up enough. Assuming everyone is still there when he gets back, that is. He knows Elle will be, but the others... maybe not.]

I've got an armoured coat that could use both. How much would it be?

[If he can't afford both, he'll just pick one. He can always get the other done later, when he's got enough to pay for it.]

[ewestmarch]

That depends. Do you have anything else enchanted I can take apart for dust?

[thumbsdown]

Uh... no. Don't have stuff like that back home, and I haven't found anything here.

[He probably wouldn't know if something was enchanted anyway, just from looking at it.]

[ewestmarch]

I'll have to provide shards, then.

[She rattles off the price, in emeralds: not as expensive as an entire piece of clothing, but not cheap.]

[thumbsdown]

[Hm. He's not sure he wants to pay that much at once. After getting paid for his work a couple more times, though...]

Could I get one and then come back later for another one?

[He doesn't spend his money all that fast, but he likes to keep some on him just incase. Paying for both at the same time would leave him kind of short.]