Agent K | Network 001

[most_feared]

[Public | Audio]

[Agent K has been here for a little bit, and is settling in pretty quickly. Given all the other weird shit he's encountered in his career having to walk around with a foil lined fedora isn't too strange. That said, despite being used to every brand of pink, purple, and blue fuckery he's not too fond of the idea of some of his thoughts just popping into other people's heads.]

[So, today he's going to check in on the current stash of resort workers to see how people are doing so that he can be overly cautious.]

I figure as non-natives we might be a little more susceptible to this bug goin' around, so I was wondering if anyone brought in by the resort woke up with a hell of hangover and no drinking last night to go with it. I put some tylenol up at the front desk in security if anybody I'm workin' with is having any issues.

That is if you're not allergic, anyway.

Comments

[most_feared]

We sorta have a hard ban on time travel back home, 'cause any issue is a big issue. [Such is the pain of having one very-easy-to-fuck-up timeline.]

[timesbureaucrat]

How do you enforce it? We recently had to give up on our efforts to curb time travel. It simply wasn't working.

[Curb time travel carried out by people not Gallifreyan, that is.]

Although perhaps with the consequences being so much greater in your universe, that's incentive for other species not to aspire to it.

[most_feared]

There are time sensitives that can tell when a timeline's been changed. I knew one personally.

[Very personally.]

Also a human can get a massive headache and a major craving for milk if a timeline around them has been altered and they haven't been changed with it.

[timesbureaucrat]

Knew? [He notices that past tense there.)]

[most_feared]

Yeah.

[Note that the information ends there.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Right.

[And now they're exchanging monosyllables.

Narvin is still dreadfully curious, but he recognizes the tone of "no futher information forthcoming" when he hears it.

So he switches topic.]

A craving for milk, you said? Just in humans?

[most_feared]

Chocolate milk especially.

It's a mammal thing.

Fuck if I know why.

[Mysteries of the universe. Confusion with time travel equals a tough time with chocolate milk and headaches?]

[timesbureaucrat]

I've never had chocolate milk. Or any kind of milk. [Gallifrey baby formula: as synthetic as the rest of their food.]

But in Gallifreyans as well theobromine has a number of peculiar biological effects, many of which aren't fully understood. [Like curing aspirin poisoning.]

Do humans in your universe have any latent psychic tendencies?

[most_feared]

Uh... not a whole lot. A few of us are pickin' it up, and a good lot of us can be trained to see when people are getting mentally handsy. Sorta important when you're a protection officer.

Why do you ask?

[timesbureaucrat]

Time sensitivity and telepathy often occur together. There are telepaths who are not time sensitives of course, but nearly every time sensitive also has some degree or form of telepathy. If humans have traces of latent telepathy in your universe, as they do in mine, it is hypothetically possible there are traces of time sensitivity as well. Meager, undeveloped, and largely negligible time sensitivity [unlike a Time Lord's large and firm time sensitivity.] but present nevertheless.

[most_feared]

Possibly. I've never had too much luck with time travel, so if I got any I'd rather use it to keep my life in order.

[Though he doesn't have much of any time sensitivity, he guesses, considering how often his life gets dicked over temporally.]

[timesbureaucrat]

It's a pity the physics of your universe react so poorly to time travel. It's a remarkable experience. When used responsibly, of course.

What sort of time travel troubles have you encountered?

[most_feared]

That's classified. [And half of it he doesn't get to remember other than he just... sort of knows things are off.]

I can officially state that all of it was a pain in the ass.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin sniffs a short laugh, imagining that description on official files. Event: Temporal Disturbance. Result: Pain in the ass.

He can understand the sentiment, though. Sometimes there was nothing more exasperating than a nasty temporal knot.]

Your official statement has been noted.

[most_feared]

[That is probably exactly what he has put at some point.]

I figure it's more honest than anything else that could be said about it. When shit like that happens it's hard to tell what actually happened

[timesbureaucrat]

That aspect is true in every universe, I believe. I was caught in a minor time loop once and to this day I can't be entirely certain which set of memories ended up being the proper sequence of events.

[most_feared]

Time loop?

I can kind of guess what it means from the description but I'm just double checking.

[timesbureaucrat]

I relived the same day multiple times in a row. I don't know how many; they all overlapped in my mind in the end. And contrary to temporal fairy stories, I didn't get to correct all my mistakes and ensure that the final repetition was a perfect day. Every iteration of it was unpleasant, from first to last. Perhaps the day turned out well in the end for someone, but it wasn't me.

[most_feared]

Yeah, well. Things sadly don't work out like fairy tales. So I guess the good day is the one where you figured out how to get out, and that's the only one that matters.

[timesbureaucrat]

[That's a pragmatic, realist's way of looking at it. Narvin likes it.]

The good days: the ones where you don't die, don't end up trapped for eternity, and don't fail your home world.

[It's not a high bar, but still Narvin has had more bad days in his life than he'd like, especially lately.]