Agent K | Network 001

[most_feared]

[Public | Audio]

[Agent K has been here for a little bit, and is settling in pretty quickly. Given all the other weird shit he's encountered in his career having to walk around with a foil lined fedora isn't too strange. That said, despite being used to every brand of pink, purple, and blue fuckery he's not too fond of the idea of some of his thoughts just popping into other people's heads.]

[So, today he's going to check in on the current stash of resort workers to see how people are doing so that he can be overly cautious.]

I figure as non-natives we might be a little more susceptible to this bug goin' around, so I was wondering if anyone brought in by the resort woke up with a hell of hangover and no drinking last night to go with it. I put some tylenol up at the front desk in security if anybody I'm workin' with is having any issues.

That is if you're not allergic, anyway.

Comments

[audio]

[most_feared]

Oh, yeah. It's one of the newer models, too. I got an upgrade before I came out here. Increased round capacity, variable scatter. Nice piece of equipment.

[He almost shows it off, but then remembers he stuck to audio.]

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

It is impressive, yes. Though I have only ever known one person who wielded one. They are hard to come by where I come from unless you happen across a downed spacecraft.

[Even if he saw the kid get beamed from right in front of him, it still felt ridiculous to even mention a 'spacecraft'.

Leave it to her to get so knee deep in shit.]

[audio]

[most_feared]

Actually I do come across 'em fairly often, but we usually confiscate the weapons off those. Ours are custom made for human hands.

[Actually more of an issue than he'd like to admit.]

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

So spacecrafts are common where you're from, then.

[audio]

[most_feared]

More common than people would normally figure. I see enough of 'em, anyway. Most of 'em are owned by lawful, rightful citizens that just immigrated to Earth though. Only a few are fuckwads.

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

The only ones I have ever encountered abducted my employer.

["Encountered" he is using loosely, because he only got a good enough look at the dead one on the floor.]

From what she told me, they were probably one of the few "fuckwads".

[audio]

[most_feared]

Well hell, what did they do when they took her?

[He always hates the abduction cases because it's hit or miss over whether or not they can get people back.]

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

From what I understand, they didn't have the opportunity to do much before she escaped her cell and took over the ship -- with a few other captives.

[Which isn't even all that shocking to him, to be honest. That kind of thing was typical of the kid.]

She said they were experimenting on humans, I believe.

[audio]

[most_feared]

Sadly that's the most common reason people give. But I guess you don't got a few billion humans they can pick from anymore.

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

We do not, no.

They did not limit themselves to abducting humans, though.

[If that deathclaw that got zapped straight up was any indication.]

[audio]

[most_feared]

We got that problem back home, too. Cows are their favorite, usually. I don't know that you still got those.

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

[Cows. He remembers those, because they were indeed still around. Just...in different form.]

Yes. We call them Brahmin. They have two heads. I don't doubt they were taking those too.

[audio]

[most_feared]

[Two heads?] I apologize for sayin' so but the radiation in your world pulls some real stunts on stuff.

[Since Charon looks like he got hit hard with it]

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

Two-headed cows ain't even the worst of it.

[Hell, even Charon thinks on some twisted level he was lucky. He could have ended up becoming a feral.

Not that that still isn't a possibility, according to some doctors out there.]

[audio]

[most_feared]

At least you're prepared for all kinds of bullshit.

[Kay's an optimist, but not an idealist.]

[audio]

[andiwillfollow]

[Well when you put that spin on it.]

Hrm, yes. [Unfortunately he's forever in a state of "done with this bullshit" because of how much of it he steps in.] I have my employer to thank for that.

[Is that sarcasm? Probably hard to tell, but there's definitely a hint of it. Really though, it's true. 200 years being alive and he's experienced more bullshit in the span of a few days traveling with that kid than ever.

He pauses.]

Ex-employer.