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[At least at that Kay looks a little kinder, despite the harshness to his words. Kinder in his own way, anyway. He goes over to the spawner and starts fiddling with settings, and puts in a cup.]

Tea will be quicker this way but the milk and sugar I'm going to use natural. Hope you don't mind.

Juice from a creature's mammary gland, you mean? Why not? [He still finds natural food a bit disturbing, but after Kay's description of dactyl eggs, milk and sugar doesn't sound quite so bad in comparison.]

Hypothetically speaking, if a person did have a form of PTSD, how would that person eliminate it? [Narvin is thinking of it almost as a virus to be purged from a computer system.]

See, look at that. You'll be being adventurous. [He starts making the tea, considering a way to answer Narvin's question. The problem is while Narvin was obviously deeply affected by what happened with his past, he's also an alien. He knows how to treat it as a human, how to avoid it, but in an alien? Especially one in denial, and at that for racial reasons.]

[He returns with the cup and offers it to Narvin.] Yeah, I do. The problem is that my PTSD expertise is with humans. So if you take an alien that, say, takes its experiences and segments them off into their own portion of their brain but then has to call upon them to solve certain problems then whatever survival mechanisms their ancestors developed would be what you'd have to consider most there. What their fight or flight is based on.

But that requires said alien admitting that they got some root in some real ancestry and they didn't pop out of the sea on a seashell the practical vision of perfection.

Adventurous? Only when left with no other options. [But he will boldly drink this milky tea since only natural milk is available.

He listens to Kay's explanation, what he knows, what he'd need to know further about how Gallifreyan minds function. Purses his lips for a moment. Thinks further.]

It was Rassilon's Foundry we popped out of. Not a seashell. [He says with deadpan cheekiness.]

What aspects of this hypothetical alien's neural development and physiology would you need to know?

[He takes Kay's point, but he still can't quite phrase it in evolutionary terms. Instead, he still speaks mostly of the present, the form they're in now as if they've always been that way.]

Well, for one dietary necessities and poisonous substances can give a good clue of their evolutionary diet- especially if you weigh it against what they have on their planet. That and whether they were prey or predators. Isolated or moved in packs or herds.

You know you can just say you. I already said that I wouldn't go wavin' it around. [He makes an idle gesture.] Separating yourself from it isn't gonna do you much good. The problem with trauma in any species is that when you go through an experience you desperately want to survive. Someone more aware knows how to turn that off when they have survived and the immediate threat has been neutralyzed. But those that suffer afterwards don't know how to turn it off, a part of their brain is always in survival mode.

You're not turning it off. You're just shovin' it off to the side.

Our digestive systems can process almost anything if necessary, but for optimum nutrition we need a high protein diet. But we absolutely cannot eat foods with a high concentration of salicylic acid. We can't process the chemical so even a small amount is fatally toxic.

[He thinks of how much he should say, taps his fingers against his leg.]

Our evolutionary ancestors lived in packs and were probably telepathically linked. They are known as...well...I suppose the Gallifreyan word for them wouldn't mean anything to you.

Predatory, then. Pack behavior.

[He's better at criminal psychology, really. What would motivate someone to act defensively. He also, as an MiB agent, has to keep an eye out for agents that might make mistakes, or can't take it anymore.]

[Actually treating it, though? He's not exactly the sympathetic listening type. He's the intimidating listening type.]

[Still, he's the one with the trust here. That says something.]

When you're lookin' for threats, who are your first suspects? And with the psychic connections is there any chance that sort of suspicion can spread, be exaggerated by the others around you?

[Narvin does a tiny inclination of his head, acknowledging that Kay's guess is correct. He doesn't say anything more, however, or offer further details. It's a bit embarrassing for a race who claims to be above violence and savagery to be descended from flesh eating carnivores.]

I suspect everyone. Back home I don't even trust my own people any more. Too many betrayals. It's a much shorter list to say who aren't my initial suspects.

[He rests his fingers on his lips for a moment, considering the psychic angle.]

These days Gallifreyans are trained from a young age to keep their minds separate, individual. My telepathic shields are strong. No shields are perfect so I can't discount the possibility, but I would say that very little leaks in or out of my mind.

Well, that's a plus anyway. It means whatever bothers you is probably all yours so that way it's easier to handle.

No, no. I mean [he makes a motion in the air.] It's important. Who would you suspect more than others.

Well...outsiders, I suppose. On Gallifrey that would mean aliens. But here, everyone's an alien. [And it has him just a little on edge all the time. This feeling he can't quite shake of being constantly surrounded by potential hostiles.]

[Yeah, he's going to need coffee for this. He starts tending to that, trying to hide his bit of exasperation at the idea that aliens can be the only potential hostiles. The MiB has to watch out for threatening humans as well, even if they're left mostly to human law enforcement communities.]

Including you. [He says that first, filling up his cup and putting some sugar in it.] Actually, you're the alien in this case, more than most of the people that live here.

So are all of us more suspect to you than the "natives"?

More like non-Gallifreyans are more suspect than Gallifreyans...or aliens I know very well. [He adds, thinking of Leela. He trusts Leela completely, alien or not.]

And, yes, I know it isn't virtuous of me [He's been told off by Leela and Romana enough times], but I know my people. I understand them. If a Gallifreyan is up to no good, chances are I know what motivates them and how they think, how they plan. Dangerous as a renegade Time Lord can be, they aren't unknown. Aliens are more difficult to predict. I feel I can never be sure what they want.

Aliens are easy enough to predict if you know what their motivations are. Survival at the most basic, but a lot of aliens want to accumulate things. Some just want to get by, but the ones that want to accumulate make it hard on 'em. Whether it's something intangible like power or resources.

Ambassadors have both.

People want something, no matter what species they are. They can go through legal means, but even I know sometimes that can hold you up from taking care of a problem. Even make it damn well impossible. So they take a short cut.

So, think real hard on it. You know there was an explosion. You know there's a peace conference. You reacted. But you reacted and missed something real important- what was that?

[He sits and waits for Narvin to answer, just stirring his coffee for now.]

[Narvin thinks for a moment, tries to put aside his preconceptions that an alien terrorist must be behind it, and reviews the facts in his head.]

If it is a terrorist, strange that they haven't claimed responsibility for the attacks nor made demands. Strange, but not completely unheard of. [Antimon hadn't made demands, nor claimed responsibility for the attacks. His sole goal was chaos.]

But even stranger is that the explosion was outside the fence. Far from the ambassadors, no buildings nearby, no civilians, nothing. So either it was a warning shot, meant to prove only that he or she has access to explosives but not do any real damage, or the terrorist is inept, or it wasn't a terrorist at all.

And this is why snap judgement could cause more problems.

[Kay makes an apologetic motion with his free hand, taking a sip of coffee with the other before he speaks again.] Honestly all I can tell you is past experience is what's important and past emotion is what fucks you up. Eventually you gotta learn to detach yourself, even if you were hurt, or someone you cared about was hurt. If you want something deeper, I'm gonna need a little bit of time to look into it.

[That is an odd thing to throw in there, considering Narvin hasn't shown much evidence that he's directly cared about anyone except his President and that on a level of loyalty. But there it is.]

Have you tried to find out much about where and when the people here come from? Not just as suspects- I mean, some of 'em, you put higher technology in their hands, and they learn quick. [He motions to himself.]

This sounds like the voice of experience. Were you or someone you cared for once hurt? [He reaches for his teacup but just holds it in his hands for now, not sipping. It's very warm against his chill palms.]

I've observed all the guests here. I know a little about their backgrounds, what era they're from. All things that are public knowledge, overheard conversations in public areas or on the network. I can't find much more without hacking into computers and [Op, he's talking to the head of security.] that's illegal, of course.

[He could also learn things by talking to people, he supposes, but that has never been the type of spying he's good at. Give him a secured file to crack and he'll break through it. But talking to people, that's difficult and he's convinced that he more likely to make enemies that way than gain information.]

[He doesn't even respond to that. Both are accurate, really. Serleena murdered Laurana, and while he deprived himself of the memory he always felt the hate and the bitterness. Alpha- well, Alpha might be the only individual that can truly make him nigh on irrational with the level of hate he experiences when he sees him]

Yeah, that's pretty illegal. [He raises a brow.]

And what have you figured out? [He asks as if he hasn't been watching, himself.]

[Narvin notices that non-answer and suspects that there's a story there. He also suspects that Kay is not going to tell it to him.

He also notices the eyebrow raise and clears his throat before he tries to explain himself.]

Well, I was an intelligence operative. There, I had legal jurisdiction to hack into other people's computers. But don't worry, I have the utmost respect for the law, seeing as on Gallifrey it was my job to enforce it.

[He shuffles his observations on the others into order.]

Wander is a peculiar alien, not one I've heard of before, but he seem unambitious and lacking in malice. Any trouble he caused would likely be accidental chaos of poking his nose in the wrong place at the wrong time, fiddling with things he shouldn't.

The elves are...interesting. They remind me of my own people somewhat. Our shared longevity gives us certain shared perspectives, I think.

Miss Persson strikes me as someone who could cause a lot of trouble. She has the air of a mischief maker about her, an agitator. The same with Mr. Bellic. [The two people he gets along least with. It's a combination of seeing the people he's quarreled with in a more negative light, and being more likely to butt heads with anti-authoritarian personalities.]

Boone reminds me of a Chancellery Guard. Solid, probably a good man in a fight, reliable, but a very linear and uncomplicated thinker. [And fun to poke, just as Narvin pokes at Chancellery Guards.]

I don't trust Braska. [He says bluntly. Braska has done nothing suspicious and has been unfailingly polite. Narvin doesn't know what to make of that niceness. Also...] He's a priest. [He adds, as if that only explains it.]

Mr. Smiley and Dr. Visscher are both wholly unremarkable as far as I can tell. Ordinary humans going about their job. Mr. Wooster is only remarkable in his inanity.

Miss Westmarch asks too many questions. [Pot. Kettle.]

As for the rest, I haven't observed them enough to make judgments yet.

[Kay snorts and smiles. That's a little funny to him. Una strikes him as a fun loving idealist. Her version of no good would be more articulate than blowing up fences randomly. Bellic is a little suspicious, but mostly seems like the sort that doesn't want anything to do with any political movement- like oil and water. He fully well knows what Smiley is and Braska has been nothing but fair and gentle. Overly eager, but fair and gentle.]

[The elves don't actually remind him of Narvin so much, considering Narvin's aversion to nature. But he supposes Lindir's aversion to adventurous technology is close enough. ]

I guess you got it all figured out, huh? Well, I was just wonderin'.

[He settles back and stirs his coffee.] So you want me to look for someone trained and discrete that can give you some help with that? I know more about criminal psychology, not so much putting someone back together.

[Narvin's eyes narrow, suspecting that Kay's mocking him somehow.]

I'm not a profiler. And with all of my usual methods unavailable to me, this is what I have.

[Narvin takes a sip of his tea, finally. He decides it's not bad, even if the milk and sugar are natural. He can hardly tell the difference.]

I don't want anyone else to know. Even one person knowing is one person too many but I felt I had no choice. I needed you to understand that my interest in this case wasn't out of criminal malice. As it is, I feel that you know too much about me while I still know very little about you, which is a state of affairs that makes me uneasy to say the least.

I didn't think it was.

Not much to know about me. I'm not necessarily a person. I am a job. It's what I do. Anything I enjoy or own is circumstantial and only as allotted by my organization. My identity as a human being has been erased.

That said, because I technically don't own anything, my possessions throug me are owned by my organization, I'm not particularly ambitious. So I'm not gonna want to keep you down or use anything I've heard against you in some way. [He shrugs. Why would it be worth the trouble.]

But if you change your mind I'll have a looksee around and keep your name out of it until I come across someone you like.

Even if you own no possessions, you must still possess thoughts, fears, hopes, vexations, desires. I've revealed to you a point of weakness, of insecurity, a moment in my history that I'm not proud of. Would it be impossible for you to reveal something personal in return? Not anything compromising, of course, just something of you?

[At this point, he'd settle for something minor and trivial.]

Edited 2014-07-26 03:49 (UTC)

I like apple pie because sitting down and eating a pie helps keep me from overthinking something.

[That's something anyway.]

I thought for the most part you came here to figure out your own head so you wouldn't have those vexations? [Not to find out anything about him.]

[Victory! Glorious victory! Getting that tiny nugget of information, small as it is, feels like a tremendous accomplishment after all the time and effort it took to get it.]

You're not wrong. But I see no reason not to multitask.

Why are you trying to multitask? [For all his paranoia, he doesn't think Narvin would want to compromise his efforts to be a responsible protection officer. Nor can he figure out why talking to him would be interesting.]

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