Video

[what_ho_jeeves]

About that Squick mentioned in yon broadcast...

Hypothetically, if a chap wanted to acquire some, for wholly innocent purposes of self-defense from a beazel intent on marriage and who shall not be dissuaded by other means, how would one go about it? Is there a secret knock or some such?

[Bertie does not have the first idea how illegal drug purchasing works. He thinks that Squick is probably roughly like alcohol in the States: technically not legal but no one but the stuffiest of the stuffy cared if one partook of a snifter or two.]

Comments

[folkscallmewander]

No idea, really. If ya ask aroun' y'can find some eventually, but I think it's a matter of askin' the right people.

[He would totally volunteer to do that, though he's pretty sure he'll have to end up talking to folks that may have criminal backgrounds. Not that he's afraid of them, but Sylvia would be much better at handling this if she were here.]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie considers this solemnly, thinking again of Prohibition in New York.]

If you ask the wrong people...person, do you get dragged before the magistrate before whom to give a false name, pay a fine, and then are set loose? Because it's dashed inconvenient when that happens.

So I've been told.

[folkscallmewander]

Think it depends on where you are. We never got captured by actual police, mostly because we weren't breaking any laws, so I can't answer your question there.

...Does this place have a magistrate?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I think that every place has some sort of magistrate. Except for Antarctica, the magistrates would have a devil of a time getting there and the court would be perpetually snowed in.

[folkscallmewander]

Somethin' needs to be done 'bout Antarctica then. Poor folks probably need some actual leader to guide them in their harsh environment.

Maybe they got magistrates where you're from? I don' recall every planet havin' one.

[what_ho_jeeves]

I don't believe Antarctica has many people. If there were, old Scott would not have had such a dashed terrible time of it there. He could have knocked on a door, handed his card and said "What ho, just passing through and it's rather cold out. Mind if I come in for a drop of tea?"

There are many magistrates in England, however. They are all dour chaps, from my experience, with grey hair and scowling faces and all too eager to blame a fellow of the worst sorts of offenses when he was only having a spot of fun. After all, no harm was done to that policeman by the borrowing of his helmet.

[folkscallmewander]

I'm guessin' Antarctica doesn't get many visitors. Scott a travelin' friend o' yours?

Sounds like your magistrates could lean t'loosen up a little. There's a lotta more important stuff they can worry 'about instead of goin' after innocent folks wearin' hats.

After all, there's nothin' wrong with havin' a little fun if no harm is done.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Good heavens, no. I was still a boy in short pants when Captain Scott's ill-fated expedition met its solemn and tragic end with heroic stoicism. He was trying to get to the South Pole, you see, only the dashed thing was, someone else had got there first.

I don't think anyone else has been back since. As I understand, there's not much to recommend to it, just snow and ice.

But I wholeheartedly concur that the magistrates cannot recognize a bit of good fun when they see it, and should spend more time putting away the true menaces of society and leave be the innocent young chaps who only stole a silver cow creamer because their aunts threatened to cast them out and never allow them to taste the cooking of that chef superb, Anatole, again unless the young chaps did as they were told.

[folkscallmewander]

Oh, that's awful. Sorry to hear 'bout that.

Wait, he wanted to get there first? Y'mean it was a competition? That's not...it ain't the right way to go about things, 'specially with travelin'! Y'can't enjoy the pleasures of life when you're runnin' everywhere, believe me, I know! An', an' this got 'im killed?!

[While he's a bit guilty of rushing through places without concern for safety, Wander would have to admit that he's incredibly lucky that most places weren't as hazardous as Antarctica and he had Sylvia to look after him. As much as he doesn't want to think about someone dying on a trip, knowing that a person Bertie knew died reminded him of the dreadful possibility.]

A snow an' ice planet does sounds quite nice, but to think that poor man...

[what_ho_jeeves]

It wasn't an official competition or anything like that. He just wanted to be the very first man to set foot on that spot, to plant the flag for King and Country out of a good sense of British pride, what? But the Norwegians got there a few weeks before he did. Or was it the Swedes? It was someone or another of Viking decent. They are compulsive travellers, you know. I suspect that Jeeves' ancestors were Vikings; he's always hot to go biffing off to some foreign country or another. The travel is in his blood.