[Video] Time is relative.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin appears on screen, face wan and dark circles under his eyes.]

The date stamp on my communicator says that it's month 10, day 7 by the local calendar system. Please confirm.

Comments

[usfuzzies]

If you like Gallifrey's native fauna where they are, I'd advise that, yes.

It is amazing that the planet's so unique-- there are careers to be made here. But not easy ones.

[timesbureaucrat]

As far as I know, I'm the only Gallifreyan native fauna on this planet.

Hmph. That sounds like a polite way of saying that it's a pain in the neck to be involved in research here.

[Narvin likes his mysteries to be a little less mysterious. When maths don't quite work, the equations don't add up, he gets nervous.]

[usfuzzies]

Mudd is a vector for invasive species the way cetian ticks are a vector for the tauren plague. If you don't keep an eye on him he may change that for you.

And that's pretty much precisely what I mean; I'm still running into walls in every direction I research.

[timesbureaucrat]

Oh wonderful. The last thing this world needs is an infestation of pigrats.

[usfuzzies]

Maybe they'll eat the infestation of tribbles. [So dry. So terribly deadpan, emphasis on 'terrible', as in 'this is all terrible.']

[timesbureaucrat]

With that sort of food supply on hand, soon they'd start breeding like humans and you'd simply end up with a new intractable pest problem.

[Awkward pause as he thinks about what he just said and to whom.]

No offense. It's a common saying on Gallifrey.

[usfuzzies]

[Ben doesn't laugh, but he gives a little 'heh' of genuine amusement.] None taken. We are a pretty invasive species.

[timesbureaucrat]

[He gives a headtilt nod indicating that, as far as he was concerned, a truer word has never been spoken.]

They've taken over half the galaxy in my era. Humans or human mixes. Not through conquering for the most part, but simply by arriving somewhere and then procreating.

[usfuzzies]

[An answering nod.] We're an adaptable bunch. When we discovered agriculture, we changed our diet overnight--relative to the evolutionary timescale-- from forage and wild game to grains and domesticated meat, and we thrived. We can tolerate catastrophic climatic shifts and environmental upheaval. We're pretty well set up to survive.

But five times of six, you can reason with us, which can't be said for the tribbles, unfortunately.

[timesbureaucrat]

[He sniffs.]

I'm half convinced that tribbles are nothing but fur, mouths, and reproductive organs.

[usfuzzies]

You're barely exaggerating. They've got a neurology about as primitive as Terra's less developed fish. Cuddlier, though, which is a pretty good survival trait around hominids.

[timesbureaucrat]

Well, provided the hominids don't decide it looks like it would, if skinned ground and cooked, make a good hamburger.

Although that would be one way of curtailing the population.