Video and Text

[what_ho_jeeves]

What ho, what ho, what ho, guests all!

Back home, I was a writer of sorts, and upon occasion I turned my talents to the aid of my Aunt Dahlia for her magazine, writing fashion tips and the like. Yes, I am the author of "What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing This Season." And, since the season has changed, I thought to try my hand at it again.

[Text]

Now that the winter season is upon us, it is time to bundle up warmly, but this is no reason to set fashion aside. On the contrary, the layers and textures of winter clothes allow for great opportunities to display one's haute designs. Aubergine is the colour of the season this year, so you cannot go wrong adding an aubergine hat to your ensemble, or a fine wool aubergine scarf. For the more daring, try a Drazi purple sash. To keep warm on the chilly nights, consider a Creeper-inspired green parka, or, for a sleeker look, a Centauri military-style overcoat. Under all circumstances, do not wear white.

Comments

[thumbsdown]

[Boone pauses for a few moments as he tries to make sense of that, and fails.]

So it's purple.

[And nothing like his beret, which is red.]

Could've just said purple. Might've been easier.

[what_ho_jeeves]

It's a very particular sort of purple, however. Rather whatsits but a bit of thingness and with a touch of a certain quiddity.

Just a moment.

[And he scampers off screen and returns a moment later with a dark violet tie.]

Voila!

[thumbsdown]

[It's a good thing Bertie went to find an example, because his explanation meant nothing to Boone. He squints at the tie over his shades, then grunts.]

So... dark purple.

[He could be shown an entire range of purples, and he'd probably identify them all as purple. Just some are lighter, some are darker, and some are that annoying colour in between wanting to be purple and another colour, like blue.]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie, on the other hand, loves colours and words for colours and can tell the difference between taupe and sienna.]

Precisely. It would suit you well. A military jacket first, and then a splash of purple ribbons.

[To Bertie's old-fashioned eye, Boone looks a little bit like he left the house without entirely finishing dressing--no collared shirt, no jacket, just a white undershirt. And it makes him itch to put a service dress jacket on Boone.]

[thumbsdown]

[He frowns a little at that.]

Purple ribbons?

[He can't say he's ever felt the urge to wear ribbons before.]

Not sure that's really my thing.

[what_ho_jeeves]

That's a dashed shame.

What about a purple flower in the button hole of your lapel? You'd need a jacket with a lapel first, but if you had a jacket with a lapel, would a purple flower in the button hole of the lapel of said hypothetical jacket be more of your style?

[Bertie likes purple.]

[thumbsdown]

Uh... not really. I dunno.

[He's trying to imagine it, but he's not doing a very good job.]

Why does it matter so much where you're from, anyway?

[what_ho_jeeves]

It's important because...

[This question is too philosophical for him to answer properly, but he's going to give it his best.]

...people--I don't know who, perhaps Parliament, they decide all the important things--have unofficially declared that it is important. Also, it's important because Jeeves lets out the most terrible quiet groans, akin to a tortured sheep on a distant field, when he sees an ill-dressed man. My valet, Jeeves, is an expert at the art of finding the proper attire for donning.

[thumbsdown]

Not so sure he'd like it much where I'm from, then. Most people just wear whatever they can find that keeps them protected. The White Glove Society cares a lot about what they wear, though. They all wear suits and masks and carry canes around.

[He supposes people do dress a little better on the Strip in general, but it still isn't likely that it would be up to Bertie's standards. People on the Strip know that they're safe, though. You don't really need to wear armour in the casinos.]

[what_ho_jeeves]

Masks? Like a fancy dress party? All the time?

Or like, whatsits, the Opera Ghost in evening dress and a full face mask to hide his hideously disfigured features?

[thumbsdown]

They're full masks. Can't see their faces. They think the masks make them look mysterious, but a lot of people are just creeped out by them.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Perhaps they are all hideously disfigured yet artistic souls.

Or they could all be twins of the king. [He frowns in thought.] But that would be a dashed large number of twins.

[thumbsdown]

Guess I can't say for sure that they're not. Never saw behind the masks. Not sure I wanna try to, either.

[He wonders if they'd politely ask him to stop first, or if they'd go straight to beating him to death with their canes.]