[video] backdated to the 17th

[quixotically]

Okay, it should be on, so --

[The video starts with a close-up of the lower part of a face. But then, Elle leans back, and the rest of her face comes into view. She grins.]

Awesome! Man, this is cool. Er -- Hi! I just got here today. Name's Elle, Elle Days, I recently signed on as a guide, so I've got training starting pretty soon, but I wanted to try this thing out. [She holds up a hand and wiggles her fingers in a wave, her smile widening.] So, uh. Hi.

I guess I could say a few things about myself? Sure, alright. Um... Back home, I do work as a courier. Which, really, means I do a little bit of everything, not just delivering mail or whatever. Running, gunning, exploring, throwing rocks at deathclaws... Getting into trouble. That sort of thing. Uh... I live in a casino-slash-skyscraper thing with my friends. Anddd... My favorite drink is Nuka-Cola. Um.

[There's a beeping noise. Elle glances to her left, and her grin is back.] Right! And I didn't come alone. I brought a friend along for the ride. [She adjusts her communicator so that a robot comes into view.] This is ED-E. ["Eddie."] He's what we call an eyebot. He's like a floating radio with lasers. And, a few other nifty tricks. Say hi, buddy.

[The robot bounces in the air and makes more beeping noises, cheerful this time.]

Oh! [The feed refocuses on Elle again. She leans in closer.] And, uh. Boone? Are you watching this, too? This is where you ran off to, right? [She smiles sheepishly.] Sorry to crash the party. But, they offered, and, I mean, d'you really think I would've said no? [Cue nervous laughter.]

Anyway, uh. I look forward to meeting all of you! Thanks. Um. Now to stop the...

Comments

[what_ho_jeeves]

[That's the name of his father's lucky race horse. He made a lot of money the day Bertie was born, backing that horse.]

Oh.

Not like hunting foxes, then, not unless foxes were the size of lions with razor sharp fangs and were angry at being hunted.

[quixotically]

I don't think I've ever seen a lion before. Or a fox... But, yeah. I think you got the gist of it.

I've gone deathclaw hunting before, and I really don't recommend it. Damn things can take a .308 to the skull and have the nerve to just look offended about it. It's got all the elements of a sport, though. Running, swearing, screaming, risk of injury... It'd be one of the highest stake games out there.

[what_ho_jeeves]

My Aunt Dahlia would probably like it very much. She rode with the Quorn and the Pytchley in her youth. I'd best not mention them to her, else she might take it into her mind to try to import some for the local hunt.

[And then the ranks of the British aristocracy would end up being much reduced.]

[quixotically]

[Elle definitely doesn't know what "Quorn" and "Pytchley" means. But it's not really all that important, so she won't ask. What is important is -- ]

Yeah, no, that'd be a fantastically bad idea. Nobody should import deathclaws anywhere. They should stay put in the wasteland. Hell, I wouldn't mind if they weren't in the wasteland at all, but if they have to be anywhere, they should stay on just one planet.

[what_ho_jeeves]

And from the sounds of things they would cause merry hell if one should wander onto a golf course during a game. Worse than sheep.

[quixotically]

No idea what a sheep is, but deathclaws cause merry hell pretty much wherever they go.

[A pause. This guy... He mentions "golf courses" casually, like he's pretty familiar with them. She remembers that Cass mentioned that there was a president or some other important guy named Golf, and that that's why there were so many places named after him. Maybe Bertie knows more?]

Hey, speaking of golf courses... What's the deal with them, anyway? Who was this Golf guy?

[what_ho_jeeves]

Golf was a Scottish chap, very fond of argyle patterns and hitting balls with sticks.

[If Jeeves were here, he would be wincing and correcting Bertie by now. But Jeeves isn't here, so Bertie is taking the vague things he remembers about the history of golf and mixing it together and presenting this history as if it is The Truth.]

He dueled with King James II, but was victorious. As a preux chevalier, he spared the King, yielded, and ceded the duel to his Majesty. The first game of golf was played to honour this event. And it's been a corking sport ever since.

[quixotically]

[Elle listens with rapt attention and eats it all up.]

Whoooaaa. So he was pretty impressive... No wonder there are so many golf courses everywhere. It's too bad that most people don't remember anything about him, back where I'm from. That's a pretty good story.

[what_ho_jeeves]

And a splendid game for the keen of eye and strong of arm. [Things that Bertie thinks he is.]

[quixotically]

Really? How do you play? Is it a lot of fun?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I would offer a demonstration, but there isn't a suitable golf course here. It's a topping way to spend an afternoon, provided that one is not accosted by dogs, or bogged in a sand trap, or encircled by trees with the green nowhere in sight.

[quixotically]

[Accosted by dogs = wild rabid dogs or cyberdogs.

Bogged in a sand trap = quicksand trap?? WHO WOULD DO THAT.

Encircled by trees with the green nowhere in sight = random grove of trees with no grass anywhere? Which she guesses makes sense, if there's sand.]

Wow. It sounds like a pretty stressful game... What do you get if you win? [What's the reward for all this risk?]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie thinks that it really is as terrible as all that when it's not going well.]

Sometimes a trophy, but more often just the admiration of your friends and other spectators.

[quixotically]

Jeez.

Maybe you all should pick up something safer, if you're just competing for bragging rights. Like, I dunno, caravan or something. That's just a card game.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Oh, we play cards as well, but I generally put a limit on my card playing. A man could lose a fortune that way.

[Gambling is one area where Bertie is at least slightly responsible. He gambles some, but not too often and never beyond his means.]

[quixotically]

Sure, if you're bad at it. [A tease. Elle grins widely.] You're right, though, that's very smart of you. I always do really good at the card tables, myself, so I try not to play too much, 'cause I just make people mad when I do.

[what_ho_jeeves]

The fear of card sharps is very strong. Did you know I once knew a fellow who lost the east wing of his own house in a card game?

[quixotically]

Just the east wing? How does that work?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I don't rightly know. His wife was pipped about it, no mistake. Banned all gambling from the premises of her home and lands henceforth.

[quixotically]

It's a good thing you've learned from your friend's mistakes. My city's full of casinos, so there are a lot of people who come to strike it rich, only to end up stuck in town with nowhere to stay and no money for food because they blew it all.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Even if I were inclined to gamble away my inheritance, I'm sure that Jeeves would ably prevent such a thing from happening.

[quixotically]

Yeah... There are a few friends who help hold me accountable, too. Not with money, exactly, but, y'know, with things like... throwing rocks at deathclaws.

Which... means it's probably a good thing that one of 'em's already here. [Ahehehehe.]