Agent K | Network 001

[most_feared]

[Public | Audio]

[Agent K has been here for a little bit, and is settling in pretty quickly. Given all the other weird shit he's encountered in his career having to walk around with a foil lined fedora isn't too strange. That said, despite being used to every brand of pink, purple, and blue fuckery he's not too fond of the idea of some of his thoughts just popping into other people's heads.]

[So, today he's going to check in on the current stash of resort workers to see how people are doing so that he can be overly cautious.]

I figure as non-natives we might be a little more susceptible to this bug goin' around, so I was wondering if anyone brought in by the resort woke up with a hell of hangover and no drinking last night to go with it. I put some tylenol up at the front desk in security if anybody I'm workin' with is having any issues.

That is if you're not allergic, anyway.

Comments

[timesbureaucrat]

[Brief pause.]

I once had to initiate psychic contact with a Hurgalnook blood slug. It wasn't pleasant.

[most_feared]

The hell would you have to do something like that for?

[He asks this, but really Kay doesn't need reasons to do half the stuff that he does.]

[timesbureaucrat]

They were infesting a computing systems access room that I needed to enter in order to [plant a bug] install some upgrades. It was the only way to get past them safely without shooting them up, since one missed shot might have damaged the equipment. [Not to mention would have been noisy.]

[most_feared]

Well, I guess that isn't any more pleasant than having to get hands on with one.

[There's a sort of "that's an understatement" sort of comment to go with that. Nothing like grabbing the mucosae of a horrible gastropod mollusk and getting sticky all over your hands.]

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin makes a face.]

I shudder to think.

[Prissy alien is prissy.]

I prefer to stick to circuits and wires. They might electrocute you, but at least your hands stay relatively clean.

[most_feared]

I've always preferred the field myself. Though I might ask for investigator around here, eventually. I like getting into the meat of non-human cultures. Human ones, too, but eventually those get kinda stale.

[You get bored with your own family, sometimes.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Are there Gallifreyans in your universe?

[He's almost afraid to ask, considering the Gallifreyans in other universes he's encountered. At least in this universe Gallifrey seems more like his home--minus time travel tech. But they were not (as far as he could tell) evil, insane, or barbaric, which put them well above the other alternate Gallifreys he knows.]

[most_feared]

Afraid not. Our timelines got their own issues, so luckily there ain't too many people to make it worse.

[timesbureaucrat]

Ah.

Well, I'd like to think that if their were a Gallifrey there, they would be responsible with the temporal issues of your universe. [Strangely optimistic of him, but it's his home planet and despite everything he's still got a bit of a blind spot for it and hopes that the four alternates that he saw were unusual in their evil and that most Gallifreys weren't like that.

He's got an even bigger blind spot about the relative goodness of his own Gallifrey.]

[most_feared]

We sorta have a hard ban on time travel back home, 'cause any issue is a big issue. [Such is the pain of having one very-easy-to-fuck-up timeline.]

[timesbureaucrat]

How do you enforce it? We recently had to give up on our efforts to curb time travel. It simply wasn't working.

[Curb time travel carried out by people not Gallifreyan, that is.]

Although perhaps with the consequences being so much greater in your universe, that's incentive for other species not to aspire to it.

[most_feared]

There are time sensitives that can tell when a timeline's been changed. I knew one personally.

[Very personally.]

Also a human can get a massive headache and a major craving for milk if a timeline around them has been altered and they haven't been changed with it.

[timesbureaucrat]

Knew? [He notices that past tense there.)]

[most_feared]

Yeah.

[Note that the information ends there.]

[timesbureaucrat]

Right.

[And now they're exchanging monosyllables.

Narvin is still dreadfully curious, but he recognizes the tone of "no futher information forthcoming" when he hears it.

So he switches topic.]

A craving for milk, you said? Just in humans?

[most_feared]

Chocolate milk especially.

It's a mammal thing.

Fuck if I know why.

[Mysteries of the universe. Confusion with time travel equals a tough time with chocolate milk and headaches?]

[timesbureaucrat]

I've never had chocolate milk. Or any kind of milk. [Gallifrey baby formula: as synthetic as the rest of their food.]

But in Gallifreyans as well theobromine has a number of peculiar biological effects, many of which aren't fully understood. [Like curing aspirin poisoning.]

Do humans in your universe have any latent psychic tendencies?

[most_feared]

Uh... not a whole lot. A few of us are pickin' it up, and a good lot of us can be trained to see when people are getting mentally handsy. Sorta important when you're a protection officer.

Why do you ask?

[timesbureaucrat]

Time sensitivity and telepathy often occur together. There are telepaths who are not time sensitives of course, but nearly every time sensitive also has some degree or form of telepathy. If humans have traces of latent telepathy in your universe, as they do in mine, it is hypothetically possible there are traces of time sensitivity as well. Meager, undeveloped, and largely negligible time sensitivity [unlike a Time Lord's large and firm time sensitivity.] but present nevertheless.

[most_feared]

Possibly. I've never had too much luck with time travel, so if I got any I'd rather use it to keep my life in order.

[Though he doesn't have much of any time sensitivity, he guesses, considering how often his life gets dicked over temporally.]

[timesbureaucrat]

It's a pity the physics of your universe react so poorly to time travel. It's a remarkable experience. When used responsibly, of course.

What sort of time travel troubles have you encountered?

[most_feared]

That's classified. [And half of it he doesn't get to remember other than he just... sort of knows things are off.]

I can officially state that all of it was a pain in the ass.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin sniffs a short laugh, imagining that description on official files. Event: Temporal Disturbance. Result: Pain in the ass.

He can understand the sentiment, though. Sometimes there was nothing more exasperating than a nasty temporal knot.]

Your official statement has been noted.

[most_feared]

[That is probably exactly what he has put at some point.]

I figure it's more honest than anything else that could be said about it. When shit like that happens it's hard to tell what actually happened

[timesbureaucrat]

That aspect is true in every universe, I believe. I was caught in a minor time loop once and to this day I can't be entirely certain which set of memories ended up being the proper sequence of events.