Golf was a Scottish chap, very fond of argyle patterns and hitting balls with sticks.

[If Jeeves were here, he would be wincing and correcting Bertie by now. But Jeeves isn't here, so Bertie is taking the vague things he remembers about the history of golf and mixing it together and presenting this history as if it is The Truth.]

He dueled with King James II, but was victorious. As a preux chevalier, he spared the King, yielded, and ceded the duel to his Majesty. The first game of golf was played to honour this event. And it's been a corking sport ever since.